What makes a man a sexy?

A man who prioritises his well-being through diverse forms of self-care embodies a profound level of self-awareness that I find truly sexy. By maintaining physical fitness and nurturing mental resilience, he not only enhances his own quality of life but also signals a readiness to engage deeply in meaningful relationships. This commitment to self-care reflects a respect for himself, demonstrating an investment in personal happiness and growth that naturally draws others towards him. It goes beyond simply exercising or practising mindfulness; it’s about recognising one’s needs and taking intentional actions to meet them. Observing a man who lives by this philosophy reassures me that he possesses the ability to balance giving with receiving within any partnership. Such equilibrium is essential, as it ensures he remains present, empathetic, and supportive — a combination that is undeniably appealing and attractive. In valuing himself enough to prioritise his well-being, he creates space for richer connections and deeper understanding with those around him, making him a magnetic presence in a relationship dynamic.

Perhaps I’ll write this in two dimensions: the physical and the mental aspects. I’ll start with the mental because, for me, this is key. I’ve been around good-looking and fit men, but the moment they speak, it’s a massive turn-off — egotistical and self-absorbed in all things “me.” A sexy man is interested in what you have to say and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. He’s open to good debates and engaging topics, yet remains respectful, ensuring this dialogue of perspectives is open and you’re not made to shut down. He appreciates insight. I guess such sexiness requires both parties to be equally invested in open-minded dialogue.

I feel many men sometimes adopt this persona of toughness, but I find sexiness in vulnerability because us human. The reality is our social conditioning has made men feel like they need to be rational all the time and that exposing emotions is a form of weakness. I see vulnerability as a power — being able to cry and express their deepest emotions makes them more real, not just a godly figure exposing nothing but biceps. As the saying goes, the brain is the largest sex organ, so it doesn’t matter how big your cock is or how you use it; if you don’t have the opinions and perspective, which I feel are fundamental to sexiness, it’s hard for one to connect.

Mannerisms are also key; how they treat others in and out of our presence says a lot. Hot temper and impulsiveness immediately dial it all down. Respect for others, even if one doesn’t see eye to eye, without aggression, is attractive. Confidence and assertiveness are equally important; if you want something, say it. Don’t shy away because not all women are mind readers. Some women need decisive men, especially stronger women who are used to making decisions day in and day out in their careers. Whilst sexiness is subjective and may differ, being able to read your partner is so important; otherwise, they will just choose to shut down. Another element of sexiness is that you can speak with your eyes. Yes, that look we can never quite explain; it’s like they can see through the layers of clothing we are wearing, pulling back the layers of who we are. Finding your way into our headspace.

Physical appearance is important; you could say it’s essential. A chiselled jawline and toned body are appealing. Yet, for me, the sight of a man in a tailored suit is nothing short of delightful; it speaks to sophistication and attention to detail that captures my imagination. A scent of a man coupled with an irresistible swagger adds layers to his charm making his presence that is both intriguing and exciting. What truly sets my heart racing is the contrast — a man who presents himself as prim and proper yet harbours an untamed bad boy spirit within. Being the one privileged enough to witness this duality is like possessing a treasure. What is key is that there needs to be a balance of both, and perhaps one outweighs the other, but sexiness is in the confidence.

As I continue to write this, I can’t help but smile at the realisation that defining sexiness is similar to making a casserole. It’s all about personal taste; some might fancy an extra dash of herbs, while others toss in every ingredient under the sun, hoping for a masterpiece. In truth, there’s no perfect recipe, it’s more like bringing together jigsaw pieces for that perfect fit. What makes a woman or man sexy is really in the eye of the beholder, much like how one person’s idea of culinary heaven is another’s Chef’s nightmare. So whether you’re into spices or subtle flavours, perhaps the conclusion is that sexiness isn’t a one-size-fits-all dish — it’s about knowing what you love and embracing your own unique blend! Bon appétit.