The Power of Time and Patience: Mind-Blowing Experiences

This journal entry is inspired by an article about Sting, who shared his experience of a seven-hour tantric sex session. It got me thinking about the power of time and patience.Perhaps the idea of time and patience often goes unnoticed, yet it holds the potential to transform our experiences in ways we might not expect. How many times have you found yourself in situations where time feels constant, like a metronome ticking away in the background? We go about our usual routines, often slipping into autopilot without realising it. But what happens when we disrupt this constancy and take control of time and pace itself?

Perhaps it is for this very reason that some of us join kink forums: to understand, with curiosity, the variety of fetishes and kinks, and to discover and explore our own. For me, the element of control over time places us in a unique space of surrender, an aspect we often overlook in our daily lives. In our conventional or “vanilla” sexual lifestyle, the standard routine involves simply pulling down one’s pants, engaging in a quick 69, and then moving to a wham bam and done, which is perfectly acceptable for those who prefer it. By no means do I think it’s bad because it can also be passionate. However, prolonging sexual play by integrating elements like sensory overload or deprivation or deliberately relinquishing control over “time” and “pace” can have an even more profound impact on experiences like edging. The concept that you’re only allowed so much pleasure before holding back transforms not just the physical sensations but also heightens anticipation. What I find most exhilarating is the psychological side of it. By embracing this approach to time and pacing and surrendering to controlled restraint, perhaps we can explore deeper layers of satisfaction that might otherwise remain undiscovered in more vanilla encounters.

Imagine, for a moment, if I stripped away your ravenous desire and permitted you only three luscious licks. Your actions and intentions transform almost instantaneously. In this instant, you are compelled to savour each sensation. You become aware of every touch and subtlety as your senses sharpen; you’re forced to focus with an intensity previously unknown. Tasting becomes a sacred ritual, each flavour more vivid than the last because there lies the real possibility that it could indeed be your final taste. Who knows? At any moment, I might choose to withhold this pleasure from you entirely. It’s the very notion that what we have is temporary, creating an urgency to intentionally savour each second as though it were our last. It’s this balance between presence and absence that heightens the anticipation of what comes next.

The mind is powerful; some might find it cruel. Play doesn’t necessarily lead to sex, where skill is required to keep you on the precipice of pleasure until you are deemed worthy. It’s not about your worthiness but about holding you in a space of anticipation, bringing the intention of what true pleasure can be. I hold the remote control, allowing you to indulge at my pace, making you notice, focus, and appreciate.

Consider this as I ask you to take off my shoes; perhaps you would do that quickly. Now, if I told you that you have exactly 20 seconds to run your hands down my thighs to my knees, both hands moving down my calves as you slowly take off my shoes, you might do it differently. You can suck my toes during this time as I count, maintaining eye contact. The countdown begins now, “20, 19, 18…” You do it with care, noticing the suppleness of my skin and the scent of lotion on my legs. However you hold the power of choice do you spend more time touching my legs or do you spend my time sucking my toes? Or perhaps I declared five thrusts — will you plunge with intensity in 10 seconds, or go slow and deep in 1 minute, knowing you are limited to just five? As my thoughts drift to Sting and his legendary seven-hour sessions, I consider the importance of the power of time and patience.