Men should cry!

A thought popped into my mind today as I was reading about emotions, specifically sadness, anger, and injustice. In the cultural context of emotional regulation, different societies place different sets of expectations on gender. The common phrase “Boys don’t cry!” made me realise how suppressing that can be!

The expectation that men should not cry perpetuates a damaging gender stereotype that harms mental health and emotional well-being. The widespread assumption that crying is inherently linked to emotional turmoil or breakdown often carries an unfair bias towards women. Yes, I am one of those women who cried when King Kong died! or when ET had to go home!. However, this harmful notion that men must suppress their emotions and constantly project an image of strength and bravery sounds more like a burden! It must be so hard. Writing from my perspective, I feel certain emotional suppression places an immense burden on men, compelling them to repress their authentic feelings and emotional experiences, which can have profoundly negative impacts on their mental health and well-being. It must be at times exhausting. Emotional expression, including crying, is a natural and healthy human response, regardless of gender. Challenging this outdated stereotype is crucial in promoting a more inclusive, empathetic, and emotionally literate society.

Crying is a healthy human response to a range of emotions, and denying men the ability to express themselves in this way can lead to inner feelings being internalised. It makes one wonder how many men fear the feeling of being judged or made to feel weak for shedding tears, simply because of outdated societal norms that equate crying with fragility and weakness. This bias dismisses the reality that everyone, regardless of sex or gender, experiences a range of emotions that deserve to be acknowledged and expressed without shame or stigma.

I find that men who are able to express their emotions, including through shedding tears, demonstrate a level of strength and trust that I find admirable. The ability to do so openly is a sign of emotional strength and the capacity for connection. It takes real courage and power for men or anyone in fact to embrace their emotions and share that emotional side of themselves. While I wish no sadness upon anyone, I find crying a strength, not a weakness, because we aren’t perfect, and life isn’t either, so it’s okay not to be okay.